That Life Part: 1

So, late last night at almost one in the morning I had an adventure! Not your typical thriller but it gave me such a rush of excitement. Why was I up when night had fallen and I should have already been in a deep trans with dreams floating in the still air. If I couldn't fall asleep why didn't I result to counting white curly wool sheep in the gray thought bubble above my head? Why didn't I lay there? Why not just lay there staring into the dark nothingness until sleep finally decided to creep its way in? Well, I'm not normal. So I turned on the television and watched the bright red screen as the white Netflix letters just floated in the middle waiting for me to click it. Wanting me to click.
"Whenever you're ready," it said.

After making my decision another world opened up to me. So many different movies just swirled around me. Which one do I watch? Which one is actually good? Click, click, click. Nope I can't imagine myself watching that all the way through. Whoa no that's a really old movie it could never compare to the modern graphics of today's technology. That could be cool. Ahhh a big sigh of disappointment. I'll just pick this three-starred, made in 2003 movie.

I always watch movies imagining myself in them. Silly right? Maybe. Would I be that main character that never realizes the same mistake that she makes over and over? Never knowing what to say and when the right time to say it either. I could never be so oblivious in life, says the girl not doing anything worth getting anything out of life.

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Side Note: What am I suppose to do? In life? In general? This week? At this moment? I know there are people out there that feel this way. What do you do about this feeling? What did you do? Is it helping you or are you crumbling like the edge of a cliff? How do you find the path that you should be on or want to be on? So many questions to think about. It seems like we have so little time to do things we want and so much time doing what we could care less for.

I'm completely stuck. I'd call myself an artist doing fashion. One of my friends said if you have to call yourself an artist you're probably not an artist. I thought I knew what I wanted to do with my life. To be honest I guess I can't be an artist since I don't follow many artists but I don't follow many fashion designers either so where does that leave me? In the middle of trying to be a normal person that's not, that's what.

You think I'll figure it out eventually or will I be old with wrinkles so deep you could live in them still wondering what I should be doing? Or what I even did with my life?

Let me know if you feel this way. Or don't and how you're dealing with it. Or did and how you got over it.

Otherwise, I'm a pretty happy person. Hard to believe right? Fake it 'til you make it I guess haha. But I'm not..... I'm serious haha.

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      Anyway.............. After my movie, everyone in the house was still up trying to fix the doorknob because it broke and wouldn't let the door close. So I was sent to the ever-present world of the Internet to search for a 24-hour locksmith. As I'm deep in search for the perfect locksmith I see this really fast obscure silhouette run towards me. My immediate reaction was to freak out but when I saw it coming into my room I did what any other sane person would do and I tried to step on it. After missing the target about five times I ran for the bug spray. After how much I sprayed I'm not going to lie I was hoping I suffocated it. Though the shock of seeing an actual live spider in my house was frightening enough the thought that the spider could be poisonous and in my room and there was a chance that it didn't die was even scarier. I immediately stopped my quest to find a 24-hour locksmith to then search for 24-hour pest control. Yes at that moment I realized the struggle became real.

     So my mother and I went searching for the little big critter, moving everything big and small out of the way to find it. Finally, we saw this dark circle area in the corner. We both put on our glasses realizing it was the spider all curled up, dead. No one could image the excitement we felt because we almost didn't sleep in our room that night. After it was found all things of the night settled down and we were able to get some rest like all other families do at three something in the morning.

      Me, well I'm another story. I still couldn't sleep so I went on Twitter, and Facebook, and other social media sites thinking about if I should actually write something on my blog. Which led me here, where we are now. You reading my random thoughts on my very first real blog post that has nothing to do with an Outfit Of The Day or some styling sets I made on Polyvore. Just me, you, and my thoughts which are a whole separate entity than myself. I'm hoping that it's something you can enjoy.

Have an amazing day! And remember Jesus is always with you. You don't ever have to feel alone. :)

-A